Sex is not a one shoe fits all.
In a subject as broad as sex, and in the existence of the time that it has intricately been a part of the human experience, few threads are as colorful and mysteriously woven as those of sexual myths. They are more than stories. They are falsehoods and altered truths that have been part of our most intimate moments. The realm of sexual myths is a fascinating labyrinth where the lines between reality and fantasy blur, challenging our understanding of desire, pleasure, and the very essence of human connection.
Well, I am here to challenge those myths that have altered a lot of how many of us view sex. I might not be able to debunk all of them, because that would require too much time, and an inexplicable amount of research and information, but I sure will try to discredit those that are more common, and that many of us have found ourselves privy too.
- You can’t get pregnant from pre-cum.
This by far is one of the most common myths there is in sex, and let me just say, it has failed a fair share of people who sort truth in it. Pre-cum is a lubricant produced before ejaculation and sometimes, sperm can leak into it which in turn raises the chances of one accidentally getting pregnant. The chances might seem slim, but not unlikely.
From a personal point of view, I truly don’t think it’s worth the risk, especially if either party have little to no intention of conceiving a child at that stage of their lives, let alone together. Therefore, fellas, strap up from the very beginning, lady luck might not always give you a free pass.
- Sex will always feel good.
Sex won’t always be filled with a sensation of pleasure. Sometimes, it sucks. Some would further go ahead to say that it kind of sucks more often than one would wish to admit. Sex can get one quite uncomfortable, especially when one’s libido isn’t at its height of pleasure. One’s sex drive can be altered by different things, and it is possible for one’s drive to tank during sex. This, in turn, will affect the person’s body, and they may find themselves no longer enjoying the act of sex with their partner. If in case that happens, it is best to communicate that in a calm and sensitive way so as not to alarm one’s partner into thinking that they have done something wrong, if they well haven’t.
- Sex has a formula.
There really isn’t a script to how to perform at sex. It has undeniably been this idea that sex should unfold in a particular way, which typically would be a bit of foreplay, while then proceeding to penetrative sex; this being reserved to heteronormative sex. This outdated understanding of how sex should play out is among the great factors that have played into the existence of the pleasure gap between men and women. For those unaware of what the pleasure gap is, read on a past post on what the orgasm gap is and my own experience with it. There is too much diversity today in sex, and there possibly can’t be one way in which it is done. Sex entails so much that goes beyond just foreplay and penetrative sex. Generation after generation has found a knack in redefining what sex means, and it truly is how you make it out to be.
- Sex should hurt somehow, or in some way.
For starters, if sex for you hurts, please go get yourself checked by the appropriate physician because sex shouldn’t hurt. At least it shouldn’t hurt nine times out of ten. Pain during and after sex is not a normal occurrence, and this is especially true for my fellow women. If sex hurts, and one isn’t privy to why it does, it is best advised for one to seek medical advice from a physician on what the root cause may be for the pain. To be precise, I mean pain internally and in the vaginal area of a woman’s body. Possible causes of pain could include undetected STIs, vaginal infections, or hormonal changes. So, it is best to always get checked regularly to avoid experiencing painful sex.
- Women desire sex less than men.
Allow me to emphasize how ridiculous this myth is because this is very untrue. Women desire sex and sexual pleasure in equal measure to men, and there is no shame in that fact. Women are entitled to experiencing sexual pleasures within the same measure that men do. Therefore, it is unfounded for anyone to think and perceive that women don’t want to enjoy sex as much as men often think they are entitled to. There really should be no qualms to understanding this fact.
- Condoms take the fun out of sex.
I can’t speak for men and go ahead to explain what they feel when they have sex with and without condom. But I can go ahead to deny the mythical fact that condoms are more than just barriers of illness’ and pregnancies, but also pleasure. This is a myth that has been used to lure in women with the aim to soften them up to accepting to have sex with men, most especially without a condom. Eight out ten of us can ascertain that we have in fact had sexual partners pause at that exact moment when a condom is required for the man to sheath himself, and have been either guilt tripped into not insisting for him to wear one, or worse, have been cornered to accepting that in fact the man about to penetrate you sexually purposely forgot to carry a condom. I have written of this before, and have no problem reiterating it again, ladies, always carry your own condoms if there is intent to have sex with someone. Whether a casual or exclusive partner. If at least for your own safety and inner peace. If condoms took the pleasure out of sex, men wouldn’t go out of their way to still climax while with a condom on.
- A woman gets a loose vagina after having too much sex.
Misogynistic men often say this with their chest. This myth has been said time and again across borders, and it has been reiterated to shame women for being sexual beings. I would like to disprove this, because there actually is no truth to this. Vaginal muscle tissue is very elastic, and no penis is going to make it “loose”. Changes may occur to the vagina in different circumstances such as child birth, aging, and the insertion of birth control devices, but there has been no proven evidence that too much sex, ruins the vagina’s elasticity. The term loose is thrown around to give a connotation of overly used and no longer appealing for sex. That is absolutely invalid and downright degrading.
There you have if it guys. These are just but a scratch on the surface when it comes to debunking the myths that exist in the realm of sex. It is entirely up to individual responsibility to learn what is myth and what is facts when it comes to sex. There sadly are more known myths than there are known facts, so it is up to us as sexual beings to learn and dispute those myths.
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